A Change of Heart

Pink and purple abound this month as it's time to shed light on breast cancer (pink) and domestic violence (purple). I've been particularly sensitive to issues regarding domestic violence recently because it's been a more prevalent topic than usual. I watched a documentary the other day about a nationally known advocate who helped bring charges of kidnapping and assault against a man who forcibly took his estranged wife and daughter on a cross-country trip in his eighteen wheeler where he relentlessly beat his wife over a period of four days with his fists and a maglite flashlight. By the time she was rescued she looked like something out of a horror movie. Her husband wasn't immediately arrested and was only eventually prosecuted because of the tireless efforts of her advocate. The man was sentenced to 21 years in prison predominantly for the kidnapping conviction. If the state she resided in had prosecuted for the assault, it would have earned him a maximum of 150 days in jail. I suppose she was lucky he kidnapped her. 

I'm very much aware of the prevailing attitudes toward victims of domestic violence and how they should "just leave" their abusers and how that is a great deal easier said than done; although I must admit I was blind to just how difficult our criminal justice system makes it for anyone to escape a violent and predatory partner. While there are laws in place to "protect" individuals from violent assaults, threats, bodily harm and stalking behaviors, there's also a significant burden on the victims to meet the criteria for such protections to be awarded. Our criminal justice system requires that a victim be beaten enough to satisfy the state. The normal burden of proof that must be supplied when employing an argument of self defense does not apply to victims of domestic violence.  There is no better evidence to support my statements than the statistical data gathered and compiled by the NCADV (national coalition against domestic violence) for the Bureau of Justice. The state of Georgia ranks 12th among all 50 states in the highest percentage of murders committed by men against women, and 10th in he highest rate of murders committed by domestic partners, 97% of which the victims are women.  Nearly half of the women incarcerated in the state of Georgia are serving time for killing their abusers. Ninety five percent of those women had protective orders against their abusers and were enduring violence or the threat of violence from their abuser when they killed him.  

There 's a pervasive attitude toward victims in our society that prevails in our criminal justice system that places more expectation and blame on the abused than the abuser. There is more need for refuge than we have resources , and more tolerance for male on female violence than for stealing someone's television set. If you're inclined to distrust my statements, please look into it yourself. Please, also ask yourself what comes to your mind when you hear of a woman who's been abused by her partner. Do you automatically question why she didn't leave? Do you want to know why she didn't seek shelter elsewhere? Have you ever said to yourself, "If that were me I'd have _____"? If  you've ever questioned any of those things before first asking why her abuser was allowed by our justice system to continually terrorize, threaten and harm her, then YOU are a part of the reason why he was allowed to. Predators aren't often choosy about who they violate. Most of them have a history of violence and a list of victims who got away before they were able to deliver their fatal blows. 

Something needs to change about how we view domestic violence in our country. We need to change how we punish violent offenders and how we assist their victims, but that would require we also change ourselves, and that's too much to ask, isn't it?