Yesterday I had what I consider to be a successful appointment with a new neurologist. He listened and took plenty of time with me. He gave a little advice, offered something new in terms of medication for my headaches and is willing to get to the bottom of my latest ailment. All-in-all, I'd say it went well. But I want to try and separate my mind from what's been happening with my body lately and today I've chosen to focus on what great things this newest year has brought me and my family thus far. We're only 19 days into 2010 and there have been joyful things to focus on and I feel perhaps I've missed some opportunities to savor those moments. My husband went deer hunting alot more this season than he usually does and it has and will continue to be a very wonderful activity for him and our children as well as fruitful for our family as a whole. He's killed 3 deer and we have enough meat stored in our freezer now to last quite some time...

It's a great stress reliever for Steve and the kids absolutely love going with him. I was able to go with him once this season and really enjoyed it. Hearing the blast from his shotgun gave me an astonishing adrenaline rush and cured my pain for about 45 minutes. So it was well worth the trip into the woods in really bad camouflage and awkward headgear. (I'm a girly girl and don't like getting dirty and tromping through muddy fields and forrests.) My husband cleaned and cut the first two deer himself, we had the third one processed and I believe we now have over 60 lbs of meat in our freezer. That's a really nice staple in our over-all grocery budget that I no longer have to account for, atleast for a while anyway... So 19 days into the year and I have a few months worth of money already saved by NOT having to spend it. And as wisdom from my father would prove, "You're not 'saving' money at a store if you're spending money AT the store." I'd like to work up a figure for what we would normally spend on meats each week and add that to our savings so that we really do 'save' that money.

This year has also brought the prospect of closer relationships with loved ones. The tides are turning still and I'm finding more hope for better communication with my parents and sisters. There's never been a shortage of love between us though we have all been lacking in patience and commitment toward one another. I talk to my sisters now more than in recent years and I've come to regard them as friends moreover. My husband and I have also improved our communication and have commited to spending more time together, even if it's as simple as sitting in the same chair for a few minutes in the evenings. As a couple we've always done a pretty good job of communicating in the business of running our household and also our feelings for one another. Where we have lacked significantly is in making quality time for each other. Our life together can seem very fleeting at times and we both have a deeper realization now of the importance of a 'moment' together versus the hope that somehow life will slow down and we'll be able to 'find' time to spend together. I'd rather have a hushed moment with my head on his chest in the mornings, than a plan for a date that will likely be interrupted by the natural course of a chaotic, full life anyway.

And so it seems that in 19 shorts days I've had much more to examine and contemplate than I had originally thought. That's a nice feeling as well as a good distraction from the physical realities at present. And I admit it's pleasant to remember where we've been; Still it's more rewarding to see just how far we've come...