Beating the Bible

I grew up in the rural southeastern part of the United States. Georgia. Southern, middle Georgia to be more precise. We went to church (Methodist) every Sunday and sometimes on Wednesday. I also got to sample other churches by attending with friends of different denominations. I liked getting to see how other people worshiped. Sometimes it was solemn and ritualistic; sometimes it was down right scary, especially during revival week which I was always invited to attend because my friend never wanted to go it-alone. (I think they spooked her a little too.)And then a few churches were delightful and upbeat. People sang and clapped and let out an "Amen!" or a "that's right" and sometimes you'd hear a "You got that right!" That was mostly in the Pentecostal churches though. They were my favorite to visit because the members seemed the most genuine and were always glad to see a new face and told you so from the time you entered until you left. I've always wished there were a greater variety of churches in South Georgia so that I could sample all of them... With the exception of one or two. :) I'd pick a different church every week if I could.

Most of my childhood friends attended church regularly and this was a part of life that we all accepted. It was part of who we were, what we did and why we complained so much on Wednesdays. And although our families concerned themselves with our eternal well-being, I don't recall too many of them going overboard either. I recollect only one mother condemning myself and her daughter to hell if we didn't keep the Sabbath. The rest of the parents were... well... normal? They even acted as though they expected us to complain about having to go to church "all the dang time!" I bring up this point for one reason alone... Some of the people I grew up with are now religious "Bible Beaters" and "Jesus Freaks" and I don't know where this came from. I don't mean that they took the teachings of childhood and parlayed that into a Godly life. I mean some of them are just nuts! There are a mild few who simply attend church, count their blessings and invite you to services. But quite a few of them can't spend 30 seconds on Facebook, Twitter, texting or any other messaging medium without quoting Bible verses or speaking Christianese: A language dubbed by myself and my bff as what the overly religious speak. If you say you're having a bad day, instead of "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?", you get "Praise Jesus! He'll guide your steps today. Just give it to God and know you're washed in the blood 'cause you have a Savior and his name is Jesus. Hallelujah!" The language is confusing and mostly unnecessary. Unfortunately it's generally pretty fake too. The people who speak Christianese are far different from the ones who try to genuinely provide comfort with a kind word and a remembrance to pray for you. And I seem to know an awful lot of people who speak Christianese. When we played together as ten year olds, I don't remember hearing their parents speak that way and I know they weren't raised in a generic religious climate. Perhaps it's a sign of the times and the political push for all conservatives to be church-goers of some sort. For a while that distraction left people scrambling for their Bibles so they could "prove" their beliefs had something to do with the Constitution? But anyway, I digress...

I want to know what happened to the wacky kid who tore off her Barbie's heads? Or what happened to the fella who kissed me in the 11th grade and said if I didn't go out with him more he'd hang around outside my house until I did? What in the world happened to the sweet girl who said her first curse word when we were in Belk's in 1993? Why are they all beating the Bible and preaching with every flip of their tongues? What happened to the flippity, whimsical people I once knew? When did they turn into disengenuine, religulous, defectors? Perhaps we didn't take away the same lessons from Sunday School. Maybe the message they got was that it's better to sound like a Christian than to actually be one. Whatever happened, I know that I'm glad it didn't happen to me... for all that's worth. I know a man who quotes scripture all the time and can't wait to 'minister' to you, but he jumps at the chance to rendezvous with young girls behind his wife's back. I also know a man who seldom says a word, let alone quotes from the Bible, and if you even hint that you have a need, he'll be there to lend a hand. I can only hope I'm right about which man God would have represent him in the world...