Do what you fear and fear no more.

I reveal this hodgepodge about myself to expose my inconsistencies with committment and lack of branded affiliation. I'm not a Democrat. I'm not a Republican. I'm morally liberal and politically conservative. I was baptized Mormon, raised in a Methodist Church and am technically an Episcopalian although we attend a Baptist church because that's where our daughter wants to go. I'm white and I'm a woman and I can't do anything about it. I was fortunate enough to be raised by people who didn't indoctrinate me with shame, fear or bigotry. **I believe those things are learned** Our actions however, are chosen.

***It is important that I tell you now that this post is about to take a turn toward the truth. (My truth anyway - or the truth as I see it) Some people are highly likely to disagree and may find my language inflammatory.***



Owen & Mzee


There is and always has been a "race" in this country. A race to a preverbal finish line that once crossed, the winners believe they will have achieved supreme racial superiority and things will start going their way. Every ethnicity believes that their rights and way of life are somehow infringed upon or threatened, and they/we are poised and ready for a victory - should the actual foot race ever begin. We've reached a pinnacle of political correctness in this country that has brought the possibility of any truthful discourse to a screeching halt. Everyone feels backed into an octagonal corner and is ready to charge, chant, rant or protest at the drop of a floppy hat. I despise using terms like "African American" or "Hispanic American" or "Italian American". I'm not referred to as "Irish, French Canadian, Southern American". And I'm not - because it's stupid. I think it's stupid to refer to people based on their supposed ethnicity and then add on the tail end that they're American too! I believe those labels perpetuate separatism. If you were born here or have acquired citizenship here, then you're an American. Being one automatically implies that "no one really knows where the Hell your ancestors came from, nor do we care because we can all live here together and to Hell with our homelands 'cause it's more awesome in America than anywhere else or we wouldn't still be here". So henceforth I shall refer to people the way I myself like to be talked about. I prefer to be known as a skinny white girl, but for this post, white girl will suffice. I will describe people by their color, purely to identify them for a significant reason as they pertain to the story. (i.e. white = white/European person, black = black/African person, brown = brown/Mexican person etc...)

I think we are ALL (and by all I mean every person on planet Earth) prejudiced. We all pre-judge. Whether it be by race, color, sex, clothing, affluence, scent, touch, tolerability, whatever. Everyone forms a quick judgement based on the immediate evidence provided in the item or person before them. If you say you don't, you're a liar. If you actually believe that you don't, you're lying to yourself. I do it, you do it, the dog does it. Even my sweet lil ole' Grandma does it. Correction: did it - she's dead now. My point is that there's nothing wrong with judgement. It serves us well if we use it properly. And by nature, because we're human (animal also) we flock to our own kind. White people congregate, black people congregate, brown people congregate. We go where we feel accepted and find commonality. This isn't wrong, it's natural. What's wonderful about this is that on occasion you'll find us all mingling. Like a hippo who's friends with a turtle; or a cat who buddies up to a horse. Sure it looks weird, but it's awesome. We can all find commonality, we just have to be willing to look a little harder to find it with people who aren't like us.

Two of my best friends as a child were black girls. We didn't socialize a lot at school but school was where we became friends. I'm not even sure what it was that drew me to these cousins, but they liked me equally as well. We just sort of "got" each other. And to this day, we still do. To my knowledge we never minded or ever gave a moment's thought to any opposition to our friendship. We went places together and drew a few "Why are those black girls hanging out with that skinny white girl?" looks. But we didn't care. And it was wonderful. It is wonderful still, these and other amazing friendships I've cultivated with people who are not-like me.

Being able to own my prejudices has served me well in my life. I know that I judge, but I also know it is wrong to qualify my judgements. I can not validate them or use them to separate, segregate or tip the scales of inequality in my favor. No one race or sex or religion is entitled to more or less freedoms than the next. There is no such thing as superiority. And what keeps us fighting this cultural war is our sheepish inability to tell that to the parades of morons, be they black, white or brown who shout from the rafters every time they feel they've been attacked. That's not to say that race isn't a motivating factor in behaviors (and certainly many criminal ones). I mean that if we are to someday eradicate racial and sexual inequality, then we need every body, every race, every sex to unite under the banner of justice and equality. If we can't expect that or accept that, then we are our demise.

The media has captured our recent attention by focusing on a black 17 year old boy in FL who was murdered by a brown man for "looking suspicious". People are actually arguing over whether or not this kid did anything to deserve this. The 911 operator told the neighborhood watch guy to stay put and not follow the kid. He went after an unarmed boy and shot him in cold blood. An altercation may have ensued, but the dead man can tell no tale. His argument and defense has been obliterated for nothing. There is no argument here. Just like there is no argument for the the four black men in TN who car-jacked a young white couple, raped the boy, cut off his penis and for two days, took turns gang raping the girl, then chopped off her breast and poured bleach down her throat before finally killing her. There is no excuse. There is no way to spin this. You can't justify the unjustifiable. Just because you don't like the way something sounds, doesn't mean you can change what happened. You don't get to alter the truth because you can't handle the details of it. There's a RACE alright - and nobody's winning!

There are good people in our country. There are good people right next door to you. There are friends everywhere, you just don't know them yet. I implore you, walk outside your door and be the hippo who makes friends with the turtle. The beastly ugliness in humanity is not confined to a race or a gender. It is confined to the soul of the perpetrators. If we are to be a loud and reckoning force of opposition, let it be against those who would hide the truth to promote agendas. Race is not the enemy here; Injustice and inequality are. It's alright to go to our separate corners, but when it's time to fight, we owe it to ourselves to do it together.

What's in a (stupid) name?

We all want our children to feel special, to be unique, to have an identity separate from our own, or from anyone's for that matter. We are raised in a culture of me-ness. We are expected to fulfill our own special dreams. To choose, seek and find a path that is all our own in an effort to carve out an identity so special that everyone will remember our specialness... We then go forth and have very special children. And in this age of uniqueness and specialness (TON! TON! TON!) has come

 THE SPECIAL NAME!!! A mark so grand that it will become a defining glimpse into your child's own brand of uniquely identifying features. It will tell the world in a mere moment all we need to know about this extemely special creature we are about to behold. While fulfilling your own unique and special brand of self, you managed to give birth to an equally special, gifted and brilliant offspring! Congratulations!!! Everyone now knows that you're an idiot because you named your child Caramilia Delania Hussenflower OR Jax Liamson Gibson. Your inability to recognize how vastly unimportant it is for a child to have a unique name has made you look like a first class jackass.

Names that are impossible to spell set your child up for a lifetime of bitter resentment over never receiving a piece of mail with the correct spelling of their name on it. They'll never be able to find a keychain or a pre printed wall decoration containing their name while on vacation. People will ask them thousands upon thousands of times in their lifetime "How do you spell that?" Behind their backs and yours especially, people will boldly and happily lament on your foolishness as well as their gratitude that you are not their parent.

Combining names is the worst! Taking a perfectly solid and lovely name like, Jennifer and forcing a collision with Andrew gives us the possiblity of someday running into old Jenndrew or Andifer. (God help me, I probably just gave some idiot an idea for a name.) 

What's wrong with a solid name that's easy to spell??? I'd much rather come into contact with little Kathy who was well behaved and who's parents cared enough to raise her well, than I would meet little Brailynne who's parents believed in her specialness so much that they didn't bother to raise her at all. Children are special to their parents and a few close friends and relatives; NOT to the population at large! And the faster they, and their parents figure that out, the happier we ALL will be.

Restore My Faith

Today I stopped at a Revolutionary War cemetery and found this. A four sided monument dedicated to the deceased 28 year old wife of a man who obviously revered his beloved. It brought me peace and a reassurance that in the near 200 years since her death, love is timeless. And love between man and woman is ageless...

"A Christian Woman"
Is the highest best gift of God to Earth and here lies one of its brightest exemplifications! Christianity was with her, a sentiment deeply inwoven in all her thoughts, feelings and affections. Kind and benevolent, unexacting and charitable, brilliant but humble - Vigorous in intellect, sweet and lovely in person, meek and gentle in disposition - her life and character have left their impress indelibly fixed in the hearts of those whose wise counselor and devoted partner she was, through all the vicissitudes of an eventful though brief career. Though married when young, ardent and hopeful in the midday splendor of youthful hopes and aspirations, she entered upon her domestic duties with energy and devotion which could feel no decline and by the purity and vigor of her own character, she won from the most slavish passions, him whose welfare was her highest happiness and whose character was her own handiwork. Her earthly mission accomplished - she laid down her cross, took up her crown and now sweetly rests in the company of her savior.

A Sword I'm Willing to Die By....

I have to admit that I'm losing my faith... In people. Not that I ever had much, but what remained is dwindling. I almost expect the Rush Limbaughs of the world to react with hate laced vigor to something as simple as a well dressed, articulate woman testifying in front of Congress to try and gain support for a cause that she feels strongly about. I did not however, expect celebrities like Patricia Heaton of "Everybody Loves Raymond" fame to make remarks like this on behalf of Christ - what with her being a Christian and all...

"Hey G-Town Gal: Plz let us also pay for your Starbucks, movie theater tickets and your favorite hot wings combo deal at KFC! Anything else?"

"Hey G-Town Gal: If your parents have to pay for your birth control, maybe they should get a say in who you sleep with! Instant birth control!"

"If every Tweaton sent Georgetown Gal one condom, her parents wouldn't have to cancel basic cable, & she would never reproduce -- sound good?"

This woman, Sandra Fluke never once mentioned sex for her. She did not testify on her own behalf. She didn't ask for payments from the government for sex. She did what she thought was right and did NOT take cheap shots at anybody during the course of her testimony. And I think that's what bothers me most about this. If someone has an opinion that differs from Sandra Fluke's, it is their absolute right to posess it. This woman used a respectable channel to voice her position on the subject of contraception coverage. Why can't people who take opposition with her stand, express their opinion via the same channel? Or even if they are not able to secure an invitation to testify, but have other mediums for voicing their disagreement - why couldn't stating their personal feelings on the subject satisfy them? Ms. Fluke didn't include hate speach for anyone in her testimony. She didn't call Rush Limbaugh a "limp-dick, potbellied, ass sucking, hate spewing, drug addict with a tiny member who hates women because they won't 'F' him without payment." She didn't call Patricia Heaton a "self rightous know-it-all, saggy hag, pea brain who stoops to childish internet bullying tactics because she's offended by something that has NOTHING to do with her." So why do they feel the need to attack HER? Why not attack the issue? And if they have a 'shocking' position then so be it. But to blatantly and openly attack a woman who has done NOTHING to deserve the wrath of hatred blown at her, speaks more about who they are than who she is. And it should tell us all to be vigilant about the directions of our own thoughts. That our actions speak of us - no one else. That we are ALL very quick to point fingers so that we don't have to shoulder responsibility for the only person we're actually responsible for... Ourselves. (And my remarks about Heaton and Limbaugh above, are expressly my own - not Ms. Fluke's. I take full responsibility for them. Happily.)

Words like whore & slut cut straight to the fragile bones of women. Which is often why people like Limbaugh throw them out so rapidly. It's a fast and sure-fire way to bypass a woman's credibility. If a rape victim has a sordid sexual history or any sexual history at all for that matter, in many cases it can be used against her at a trial. It says to us all that "As a woman, if you have ever chosen to have sex, then you no longer get to decide who you do it with. If you have slept with a dozen men, or one man voluntarily, then we'll remove your right to consensual sex." Calling a woman like Sandra Fluke a slut is saying to the population of America's girls and gals, that if you believe in healthful, sexual, monogamous relationships, then you will be dishonored in the court of public opinion. Which brings me to wonder why this same issue hasn't arisen about the HPV vaccine, Gardisil? As we all know, Gardisil is a vaccine (which most insurance pays for) given to our daughters, that will help in the prevention of cervical cancer - which is caused by the Human Papilloma Virus. HPV is a virus that virtually every woman carries once she is sexually active. So do the Rush Limbaughs, Craig Bannisters & Patricia Heatons of the world also believe that women deserve cervical cancer??? Since being a sexually active woman is enough to call "Slut", regardless of the confines of the relationship - do they think that all sexually active women are whores and sluts? And heaven forbid, if we actually enjoy the sex, do we deserve 10 fold the punishment? Should we develop heart disease  and diabetes from untreated Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome? Should we die slowly and painfully from Cervical Cancer? Should we have our breasts removed and our vaginas burned? Would this be punishment enough for us? If not, what would please them? Aside from everyone in the world agreeing with them, what punishment for disagreers would leave them full up? Ask yourself, as a woman - what should be your punishment for having sex? What is a slut? Are you a slut? And if so, what's so wrong with being a slut?

This is an article written about the "Slut Walk" in San Francisco.

On Saturday, August 6, San Francisco hosted its first Slut Walk. Scores of people showed up at Dolores Park to talk about their own personal experiences with rape. As SF Weekly's Ginger Murray reports, Jessica "Jane Doe" Gonzales told her story about being a victim of gang rape: "She was assaulted by her high school football team while unconscious. At the trial the clothing she wore, the fact that she was intoxicated, and her social network photos were all used against her. The perpetrators were not convicted."
Murry goes on to point out, "There were almost as many men marching as women, and and many different communities were in evidence."
Sparked earlier this year, the Slut Walk movement came about after a police officer in Toronto told audience members at York University that "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." In addition to shedding light on rape and victim-blaming, Slut Walk co-founders Sonya Barnett and Heather Jarvis "decided to use the word slut in their response. They observe that historically, 'slut' has had negative connotations, and that their goal is to redeem the term."
Here are a few images from Saturday's Slut Walk.
Zombie has more images. Mission Local also has a recorded interview with one of the Slut Walk founders who want people to "keep talking about rape."

If you actually like women, feel free to read to the article below.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/opinion/sunday/kristof-when-states-abuse-women.html?_r=2&smid=fb-share

I won't get into details about the above article as you are capable of reading it for yourself. But in accordance with it, I also felt obligated to post this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V78ReJbjdxo

THIS is an example of conservativism in our country? Really? Since when did being a conservative become synonymous with being an asshole? How can you want "smaller governement" if you believe that said governement has a right to establish laws based on things that have nothing to do with your rights as a citizen of this country? Why do Republicans get to determine morality and pass laws about it? Why do Democrats believe that the only Constitutionally upheld rights of citizens should be in regard to personal and moral preference? Why don't Democrats also believe that we as citizens should have a right to our paychecks and financial futures? Why do they close the door to give us privacy in the bedroom but grab our pocketbooks on the way out? None of it makes any sense! Political partying platforms are distractions and distractions only. All parties and their card carrying members have contributors to repay once elected. Their obligation is to their "shareholders", not to the American public. If they gave a damn about us, The Patriot Act wouldn't exist. I wouldn't get i.d'd to buy movies at Wal-Mart or have my license scanned when I bought Advil Sinus at CVS. Republicans and Democrats alike are entirely responsible for the day to day destruction of our civil liberties and privacies. They each do their part to shred our nation's fabric into tattered rags.

If you have conviction, I don't care what it's about; Good for you! But if you're interested solely in convicting (as is Rick Perry above) then I have no interest in listening to you. If you despise homosexuals - do your part to uphold your convictions and don't become one!! If you believe that women who have sex (and actually like it - eek!) are whores deserving of God's wrath - then holy Hell, don't be one!! If you think that abortion is wrong - don't get one!! But stop trying to dictate how everyone else is allowed to feel and think. Just because you went to Sunday school as a child, doesn't mean that Jesus loves you more than anyone else. If the Bible tells you how to live and you are comforted by it, that's wonderful. But that's you. It is not that way for everyone else in the world. I don't want prayer thrust upon my children in school. I don't want "wear your Christian t-shirt to school" day during spirit week because I also don't want "wear your Muslim t-shirt to school" day either. I don't want the principal or teacher, or janitor leading my children in prayer. But I DARE someone to stop them should they decide to pray! Religious freedom and separation from the law are not that difficult to comprehend if you have any respect for someone else's rights to view things differently than you do. I don't expect people to feel or see God the way that I do. I arrive at my relationship with him daily - in my own way, walking my own path, praying my own prayers, guided by my own interpretation. Just the way God made me. And just as I don't expect people to share my beliefs or experiences, I don't expect to have laws passed demanding that I see things someone else's way. If I'm not mistaken, that's one of the really awesome things about being an American! That I don't have to do what others want to do. I can go my own way without fear of retribution from my government.
Assholes though, they may be....